 For A Tea Party
Question: What is the proper etiquette of serving tea at a "Tea Party" and the proper setting of the table----I have every thing(I think) but not sure how to go about setting the table and serving the tea (along with ornate cookies and cakes) - Desiree - Answer: A tea party is like any other type of adult oriented party. It may be sit-down formal or may be served buffet style, depending on your preference. If it is a relaxed (yet elegant) buffet, you need to set a sideboard (or buffet table) with the tea service, cups, saucers, spoons, dessert items, dessert plates, forks (if needed) and the napkins (clothe is preferred, but certainly not necessary. They sell many wonderfully attractive paper napkins today). Allow each guest to serve themselves. If on the other hand you intend to have a formal seated affair, then the table should be set much as you would for a dinner party sans the dinner dishes and extra silver. Of course, a dessert fork, knife, and teaspoon must be set on the table. The Dessert plate is set in the lead spot with the saucer and tea cup on top of this. Although I have seen them set to the upper right corner by themselves, as well. On a buffet table or sideboard lay out your tea. It is best if you offer coffee as well as tea (one at each end of the table). You will need a full service of each with tray. Beginning in the center of your table set your cookies and petit fours, etc. Now going in both directions on the buffet table place the eating utensils, the napkins, a bowl of lemon wedges, sugar, creamer, and finally your tea or coffee service with cups and saucers on or next to it. If this is an intimate
affair then the hostess may serve the tea from her seat. If however
it is a large group of people, serving should be done by standing to the
right of each person when pouring. I highly recommend the buffet
for this type of party. I also recommend a bowl/basket of fresh fruit
be offered for the non-sweets eaters in the group.
Gloves Etiquette:
Rules of Introductions:
When introducing people always introduce "to" the senior ranking person. "Bobby This is Mr. So and So." In this way you are deferring to the one being "presented." A good way to remember this is imagine Queen Elizabeth were in your home. You would present people to her, not her to them as she is the higher in rank. In situations where rank is unimportant, you first defer to sex and secondly to age. A man is presented to a woman - "Bob this is Kathy." and a younger woman to an older woman - "Kathy this is Mrs. Dunlevy."Likewise, a younger man is introduced to the elder man. I realize there are those who will raise their hackles over the sex issue here, but even in today's "liberated woman's" world this is still considered the accepted practice. Persons of higher rank (bosses, royalty, women over men, seniors over juniors, adults over children, strangers/non-relatives over members of family) are always "presented" to another of lesser rank. Men are introduced or "presented" to a woman. The same is true if you are introducing a clerk to a manager. "Mr. Smith, I'd like to introduce you to Miss Robins." A youth (regardless
of sex) is always introduced to a senior person. "Mr. Smith I would
like you to meet Traci."
Dear Tooter, My question is about handshaking, when being introduced to some-one, who should offer their hand first? - their - Dear their, Follow
the same rules that apply to introductions. A lady should be allowed
to offer her hand (or not) to a gentleman, but should always except should
the gentleman offer his hand first. Adults should offer to children,
and persons of higher rank should offer to persons of lower rank (a boss
would have higher rank than an employer; a senior person would have rank
over a junior person).
Related article of interest:
Abide by the rules of
introductions Meeting, greeting and introducing people in business occurs daily, and there are few areas where the rules of behavior are more clearly defined. You can do damage to your reputation and to your career when you mismanage introductions. The most important rule to follow is always to make the introduction. It is a major breach of etiquette to ignore someone. And ignored is exactly how you make people feel when you fail to introduce them. The most common reason that people avoid introductions is that they have forgotten someone's name. If this is the case, confess your lapse of memory and move on. Everyone has forgotten a name, and most people are willing to forgive others when it happens. Tell the other person, "I am terribly sorry, but I suddenly can't remember your name." It helps to soothe the situation if you can add some information such as, "I know that we met at the trade show last week" or whatever is appropriate. This tells the other person that you haven't forgotten everything. In some cases, when you are aware that the people you are with don"t know each other, you can simply ask, "Have you two met?" Smart business people will jump right in and introduce themselves. Of course, you are in real trouble if, at this stage, if they say, "No" and look to you to handle the situation. Always make a point to say something about the persons you are introducing. It is not enough to state their names. You need to mention that Ms. Brown is the vice president of the company, and that Mr. Jones is your client from Brazil. The people you are introducing have to have some information with which to start a conversation and a business relationship. Your role is to facilitate that process. You will make yourself look good and put other people at ease when you take charge of introductions. Lydia Ramsey is a speaker, trainer and author of Manners That Sell: Adding the Polish That Builds Profits. Call her at 353-5561, e-mail her at lydia@lydiaramsey.com or visit her Web site at www.lydiaramsey.com. Back to>>> Etiquette Page
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